Two Headed Girl
Episode 40 artwork
Episode 40 · November 30, 2022 · 00:32:25

40. None of Us Were Surprised

This weekAlex and Mattie discuss the shooting at Club Q in Colorado Springs. This is a rough one, but we wanted to talk about it.
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Show notes

Alex and Mattie discuss the shooting at Club Q in Colorado Springs. This is a rough one, but we wanted to talk about it.

CW for all the things you'd expect: violence, transphobia, homophobia, guns, pretty much all the stuff that has surrounded trans people the past few years.

Take care of yourselves.

Show Notes

Transcript

Tap a timestamp or any sentence to play from there · machine transcribed (mlx:mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo), expect mistakes

AlexHey pals, as we mention in the episode, this is our first visceral reactions to the shooting at Club Q earlier this month. More details have emerged, including that the shooter is now identifying as quote non-binary. There have been many hot takes on this, but even a little bit of research makes it clear that this claim is being used to probably get a lighter sentence and as not to be charged with a hate crime.

Probably an outright disgusting troll to cause further pain to the victims as well. but honestly if the shooter is somehow non-binary it does not matter it doesn't mean that this wasn't an act of hate explicitly meant to strike fear into the heart of the lgbtq community internalized transphobia homophobia and queer phobia exist and have led to violence in the

past as well. But more importantly, now that we know more about the victims, we wanted to just name them to highlight the wonderful folks who were taken from their communities. Daniel Astin, Kelly Loving, Ashley Paw, Derek Rump, Raymond Green Vance.

One more remarkable part of this story. The attacker was actually subdued by a retired vet named Richard Fierro, who was at the club with his wife and daughter, along with a trans woman who stomped on the shooter with her heels. We don't know who she is, but wow. That's badass. The New York Times got this statement from Fiero after he learned of the multiple deaths in the club.

Quote, Quote, In part he cried because he knew what lay ahead. The families of the dead, the people who were shot, had now been in war like he had. They would struggle like he had and so many of his combat buddies had. They would ache with misplaced vigilance. They would lash out. lash out in anger, never be able to scratch the itch of fear, be torn by the longing to forget and the urge to always remember. I mean this with zero irony. Thank you for your service,

both Richard Fero and the unnamed trans woman with heels. I don't think that I would have been able to protect the people in the fearless way. You did. All right, on to the episode.

Hello, I'm Alex Cox. And I'm Mattie Cox. This is a show about gender, our minds, in all sorts of transitions. Welcome to Two Headed Girl. That was sad. Don't say it like that. Welcome. Welcome. I wish that we were talking to you under happier circumstances. This morning, November 20th, which is Trans Day of Remembrance 2022, I woke up to find that there had been a

mass shooting at an LGBTQ club in Colorado, and a gunman had killed five people, and as of now, we know that 25 other people have died 25 people 25 at least yes killing at least five people and injuring 25 others as of 6 28 6 28 central time at uh the washington post normally we don't like

to do episodes of Two Headed Girl that I wouldn't say are reactionary, but were not really a news based show. But it felt like we needed a slash, not needed, we wanted to talk about this. You and I kept talking about this off air all day and it really struck a chord, which is a dark thing to say because every mass shooting in America should hit you really hard.

but there are just so many that we wouldn't be able to function if that were the case but this one didn't just hit us hard because all of the victims were in a space that was supposed to be safe for queer people but it comes at arguably the height of hostility towards trans people in

MattieAmerica possibly ever honestly you were saying you were saying to me the other day when I was like I don't I don't know what to record about for our audience because I feel like there's an oversaturation of certain stuff and you were saying to me but a lot of our audience are allies and I think that this is actually a really important thing to bring up to allies now that it is like the highest amount of trans violence that we've seen i don't know um

Alexthe a lot of the time you and i are telling people our stories but not we're helping our audience is pretty much obviously people who are not transphobic but a lot of people just either don't know about the trans experience or they don't understand and all of that is fine and good

they're completely supportive have no issue with trans people and and i would say a lot of the a lot

Mattieof the experiences we share with things we encounter don't focus on violence and focus on positive things and positive impact or how to navigate things in a way with not even necessarily a positive outcome but with a neutral outcome. Like we don't talk about any hate or violence really that happens usually.

AlexRight. There are other places to get that in a more timely manner. But if you're listening to this and you are trans, you have probably heard about this. And honestly, if you're listening to this right now, you already know about the shooting in Colorado. But if you're trans or queer, you're probably not surprised by it.

Whereas everyone I've talked to you today who is straight is, you know, shocked. Obviously, we are all shocked and appalled. I think there's a difference between being shocked and surprised because, yes, it's shocking and horrible and the wound is so raw. But none of us were surprised by this because one, gun violence in America is really, really pervasive.

But two, this has happened before, notably the Pulse shooting in Orlando and the anti what can only be called like the anti trans hate machine on what I mean, you could argue is the far right, but honestly has just become a mainstay of all conservatives and Republicans in America has escalated to the point where.

people are literally dying trans people are once again a uh the victims of a terrorist attack this this was meant to put fear into our hearts and uh the shooter was successful basically

Mattieand i think obviously it's even moot to say but like obviously it happening on trans day of remembrance where we take a breath to honor and remember the trans people that have been killed this year and it happening today like the night yeah the night before yeah the night before is it feels like a double whammy because it's like you don't even get a second to breathe and mourn and like reach and help out for the people that have been hurt this year or you know like it's

just there's not even time to reflect you and I were just talking about how things have gotten worse for trans people and I was sad and upset and I just couldn't put my finger on the exact reason like I asked you what you think this specific reason is because there's always been hate and fear-mongering around the queer community and it's just escalating so much in the past year

i was like why well why do you think that is besides republicans basically i and the answer

Alexthe easy answer is the far right um lots of folks would like to say that it was trump which is a really simplistic answer any one any republican president would have amplified these messages arguably trump wasn't as good at it um he i mean he was great at spreading hate in the most

you know nefarious ways verbally tons of horrific legislation was passed but don't think that some another conservative wouldn't have done this any republican would have put those would have put those monsters on the supreme court i that rant needs to go are you saying pro-fascism Matthew saying uh we got a crypto fascist here over on Dupa Friday or oh on Two Other Girl

MattieJesus I'm saying wrong energy to bring to this show hey people mourn differently for me it's screaming about fascism we kept talking and I brought up the fact that once gay marriage was made legal and in it started to I felt like things slowly started to get better like gay marriage was becoming legal in more countries and and other places that like we never thought it would become

legal and then I felt comfortable like being out and proud and being out with you and and slowly more and more over the past few years and but especially this year I've felt like I felt like I'm I'm safer being stealth like I I felt like I can't show you affection in public or like you were saying like we feel uncomfortable holding hands um yeah literally this summer

when I was oh in June when I was wearing like my trans rights are human rights and like my tank tops that said like trans lives matter and things like that I felt self-conscious about like people seeing me and that was something I've never felt before since I've come out unless I've we've been in like a another state or something you know especially because we live in Chicago.

AlexA few friends and I were joking because they're black and I was like it's like oh now we can all feel uh how how trans femmes of color have felt since the 60s yay but it's you're you're right it is palpable now and you and I even our friend Merlin pointed this out you know even

like in 2016 when we were all still blissed out on obama and the myth of meritocracy it was like hey we're the cute lesbian like yeah isn't it awesome and now we are seen even sometimes in our own neighborhoods as literal predators i wouldn't say i oh i well i wouldn't say that

MattieBut I would say

AlexWell neither would I

MattieI would say it just It makes me feel unsafe To be seen openly trans by myself And for us together Because even at brunch a few weekends ago I was like Is this waiter Being transphobic Because we were getting weird looks And I just couldn't tell You know

AlexAnd you might say Well that's no big deal

Mattieand it isn't until suddenly it is if it makes you feel unsafe violent yeah the thing that i

Alexgrapple with is if what all of these reactionary just the like the fucking matt walsh and ben Shapiro's and fucking JK Rowling's of the world if what they were saying was even remotely true and I thought that there were people trying to harm my kid and I thought that like I could

I understand like I wonder if I was a parent during the satanic panic if I would be like oh my god satanists are going to hurt my kids you know yeah yeah and that's what's so scary is i mean we'll talk about in a second that this man knew what he was doing but so much of the hate around trans people right now is out of uh basically a terrorist rhetoric oh i was gonna say

Mattielike fear mongering and then like ignorance and and like listening to like false so like listening

Alexto false sources ignorance and fear mongering i i that's the thing though i almost it's almost entirely fear mongering because the the misinformation out there against trans people

Mattieit's it's being trans is a trend our kids are mutilating their bodies they're seeing trans trans people and they want to be trans like parents are grooming their kids to

Alexbe a certain way all those things yeah i don't think we are saying anything surprising or new to anybody except that there still are some straight people who don't really get how dangerous things have become we've mentioned it before but there's legislation across the

country putting more and more trans kids in danger most famously in texas greg abbott um passing or putting in the executive order that social services can take a trans kid out of not not even necessarily a trans kid but if social services thinks that a kid is transitioning and being given gender-affirming care, that is, a social worker can take that kid out of the home

for no other reason. And the infamous Don't Say Gay bill in Florida, now it's not just Don't Say Gay, it is completely illegal for a minor to receive gender-affirming care with their parents' consent.

Mattiethis affects me in a way that I haven't wanted to follow something all the time every day before. And it also affects me in a way that I feel like it's so exhausting to keep up with all the negative things that happen every day. But I feel the need to in a way to positively be a part of the community because I know that I am in the lower demographic of people that need to be afraid. It's mostly trans women of color that experience the most violence and now trans kids.

But like, yeah, I think about it every day. I wish I could do more to help, honestly. Like I don't, other than like donating money and sharing resources and staying informed, like I feel helpless, honestly.

AlexYeah. We all have, we're in the trans community. is $20 and we keep passing it around until someone gets shot. And then that scene for me...

MattieI don't know if you should...

AlexThe way I process things is in making dark, inappropriate jokes. But even today, actually, I kind of woke up, I read this, and tried... I did mostly stay offline.

But a what kind of started this conversation or by conversation i mean matt and i venting and mourning together um mostly me venting at him um but the shooter is actually the grandson of a republican assemblyman in florida and his daughter the mother of the shooter has written multiple posts praising her alt-right not not even is it even alt-right anymore

just her far-right father um on facebook but what was the huge again not surprising but absolutely shocking is that the shooter was arrested in 2021 after his mother reported to the police he was threatening to harm her with a homemade bomb and multiple weapons according to the El Paso County Sheriff's Office he was arrested after a standoff and charged with six felonies

but he was not prosecuted records show the El Paso County District Attorney has not commented on why the case was dropped authorities said the Colorado Springs active shooting is being investigated through the quote lens of a hate crime but that has not been definitively determined

Mattieend of long reading yeah and you well you said an article was released and read it to me and then we were talking about the right and then i was just i just wanted to know why it was getting so

Alexmuch worse basically and that's where my that that and that's where my fascism rant uh rant

Mattiefrom before came in well and also that i needed a more detailed explanation than than just trump because like yeah most people are just like oh trump i mean i i knew partly why like the rise of extremism in america like i i knew but i just again i feel like i can't like i don't know what to do to help other than keep reading be aware and also like donate money where i can but other than making literally other than making people aware of it because it was trans week of awareness

i don't know i don't know what else to do to garner help like voting obviously but i feel defeated yeah and i can't imagine how trans kids feel and i can't imagine how parents of trans kids feel and i just god yeah if you are a parent of a trans kid right now

Alexyou're awesome well i assume if you're a parent of a trans kid and listening to this you are awesome if you're someone who is on the fence don't worry you can still be awesome just

Mattielove your kids i think my final thought is just that i don't i don't know i just want allies to do as much as they can to support the queer people around them or the trans people around them if

Alexthey know anyone just like the me too movement was all about believing women believe trans people when we say that things are getting much worse. And, you know, like we said, if you're the parent of a trans kid, you are awesome. Believe trans kids and believe trans kids' parents.

MattieI think we stopped talking and wanting to record about this because obviously because it's so important, but also because I feel at a loss for what to do, and I think you do too.

AlexYou're right. I am at a loss. It seems like once a week we hear about another drag queen story hour event at a library being, you know, threatened by a proud boy, a proud boy. They're all cowards. Not a single proud boy would show up. No, multiple proud boys are showing up at libraries, showing up at schools. and we are what are we supposed to do in that case you know yeah i think i genuinely think the

Mattieonly thing we can do is make people aware and hope more people want positive change than negative change and maybe that's super naive but like that that's literally all we can do like i feel like

Alexthat's it i know because our audience you all are lovely you know and you know you are wonderful people you are either queer or you care about the queer people in your lives and i just

Mattiei always think and i've been thinking a lot more lately about the end of our first episode you said what do you want people to know about trans people about being trans and I just said trans people are just people and we just want it to be treated like human beings like everyone else and I think we need to remember that kids like like kids need to be able to advocate for themselves like you need to believe kids you know I don't know a better way to put it than like their parents

are advocating for them but people need to treat trans kids as people because they are people they're not just trans they're not different they're not they shouldn't be othered they're not monsters they're just people they're just little people who want to live their lives in a way that isn't horrifying in a way that every day isn't terrible or scary or sad they just want to be able to be a

Alexkid yeah and instead they're like us waking up to hear that yet another safe space has been infiltrated by a man with a gun who hates the gays is there

Mattiei know there's not a way to end this positively but is there a way to end this in a way that will

Alexdirect people to somewhere yeah of course we're going to put in the show notes the gofundme that has been verified as legit and is raising money for this community and the victims who we don't know um who the victims are are yet um i we don't like they haven't released it yet yeah and and we

don't know if that will happen you know that depends on if the families want that it depends on a million things that i don't understand with uh laws because um fuck cops um i always like

Mattiementioning the Trevor Project too recently that they help trans kids they have counseling and recently they've been receiving like the highest number of calls ever from trans kids for support and they're looking for like volunteers so we can put that link in the show notes too.

AlexIf you try to call that number and you can't get through please please keep trying and also So in the US now, you can just dial 988, which is the suicide in crisis lifeline. So instead of 911, it is 988. If you are thinking about hurting yourself, just please, you are not alone. If you're a kid listening to this right now, there are two people in their 30s literally crying because we care about you so much.

MattieAnd we want to do everything we can to help.

Alexand even though as a community things are worse than it has ever been in our lifetime you and i are still a really happy family and folks can have that if they want or or you can go off and have your polycule or be alone like there's so much there's so much happiness

and i hated the like hashtag it gets better campaign but it gets different it becomes so much different and we can continue to change things and end this bullshit stay safe and thank

Mattieyou for listening this is definitely different than most of our content but um things like this are important it matters to you it matters to me and it matters to a whole bunch of other people and if we can help one person by putting this in the world then we've done something good

AlexIf, you know, there's like a one in a million chance, but if you happen to be one of the folks who are at Club Q in Colorado, or you are a friend or a family member or one of the victims, please know we are all here for you in your time of mourning and are going to do whatever we can.

MattieAnd this has been Two Headed Girl. We will put links in the show notes for you to support the queer community around you, trans people in your lives, or just the trans community in general. We thank you for listening, and we hope you stay safe.

AlexTake care of yourselves.

piano plays softly

. . .

Thank you.

Thank you.

40. None of Us Were Surprised 0:00 / 00:32:25