Two Headed Girl
Episode 17 artwork
Episode 17 · May 10, 2021 · 00:43:08

17. My Chest is Going to Slide Off

This weekMattie shares what it's like one year after his top surgery, what continues to surprise him, and what Alex should do differently for their own.
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Show notes

Mattie shares what it's like one year after his top surgery, what continues to surprise him, and what Alex should do differently for their own.

Show Notes

Stay safe and get vaccinated if you can!

Transcript

Tap a timestamp or any sentence to play from there · machine transcribed (mlx:mlx-community/whisper-large-v3-turbo), expect mistakes

AlexHi, I'm Alex Cox. And I'm Mattie Cox. This is a show about gender, our minds, and all sorts of transitions. Welcome to Two Headed Girl.

Happy one year top anniversary, Mattie Cox. Why, thank you. A little past, but you know, we got there. We got there. Last year in March, you finally had the titty chop and got your boobs removed. So we just wanted to kind of go over what the past year has been like, especially because you are in an interesting spot because you got your surgery right before everything locked down for the pandemic, especially in Illinois.

Like we were on our way home and your parents were meeting us back in Chicago. And then at like 5 p.m. the curfew and the lockdown kicked in.

MattieYeah. And they had to go home. It was literally the day of the first curfew. It's been a year. Good thing about the pandemic is I got extra time to recover and relax because my job dog walking shut down for two months. So initially I had only taken four weeks off work, but I definitely needed those six weeks. Like I was not prepared for not pain.

There wasn't as much pain as I expected, like soreness. I wasn't prepared for the fatigue, like just how much sleep I needed for my body to heal.

AlexRight. Because your body has been through a trauma.

MattieRight. It was almost like getting a really big tattoo and that I was so excited to get the process done and be finished and look at my chest that I forget that afterwards you feel really shitty. Like after you get a big tattoo, it's an open wound basically. And then the next couple days, it's almost like you have a cold. That's how it was for the next couple weeks after top surgery. Like I figured the first five days afterwards, you're on painkillers. You still have all your drains and sutures and stuff.

Like I knew those would be rough, right? But I didn't gauge how exhausting it would be just like walking around the block.

AlexYeah, we went on like really, really short walks.

MattieYeah, and I think a part of it was because it was warm. It was summer. And like you just get exhausted more quickly in general. And I had to drink a lot more water. But yeah, I definitely it was a longer recovery process in that my body needed more time to build up stamina than I like not longer healing for my incisions and nipples themselves like those healed really quickly.

AlexSorry, it's still a funny word. Go on.

MattieThose healed really quickly. It was more of the like fatigue.

Alexso you would definitely encourage folks if they have the ability to take off at least six weeks

Mattieright yeah especially if your job is more physical like i walk every day yeah so i can't like i can't imagine like having my old job of working at a pet store and like unloading truck and stuff like that

Alexdefinitely six weeks for sure for sure right and i mean i'm lucky right now i'm on medical leave for unrelated reasons just for you know chemical brain bit and mental health stuff i'm i'm fine don't don't worry thank you everybody for the nice messages you've sent already but i mean that's another one of those things where i'm like i am going to take this time because that's what disability insurance is for and also i hope that not that being trans obviously is a disability

But I hope that as more folks have gender affirming surgeries, that it almost becomes normalized. Like, hey, your trans employees will probably need to take like three or three weeks off if you are an office worker or definitely more if you work in a physical space, which is why unions are so important. because you know those uh unfortunately amazon workers who are trans not exactly getting a lot

of paid time off or or any honestly the healing process for me like passed like the blink of an

Mattieeye and i think that's because of the pandemic like i i was lucky that the world shut down when it did i was so lucky um i do want to say that i wasn't uh one of the crazy things and i think we've talked about it is my chest felt heavier right after top surgery from this is so sorry

Alexthis is so funny please tell this story and folks listening to this story imagine like this is a story mostly for people who have either very large chests or very small chests because this is a difference I didn't expect or understand all right I'm sorry I just wanted to give that sort of

Mattieframing no it's fine when i got to take my first shower five days post-op i took off my surgical vest for the first time and my chest felt like it was going to slide off which was the scariest thing i've ever heard well what i mean is my chest was literally that area was numb but it was also heavier from the fluid buildup than it had been just from having my actual boobs like and that

was an insane feeling and I thought I was going crazy so I messaged the top surgeon group that I'm a part of which has been an amazing help and a great community and we should link to it in the

Alexshow notes I don't want to link to it just because it's a private community however if you want to email us at twoheadedgirl at gmail.com we will get back to you with that link I just don't want

Mattieto make it fully public yeah there are if your top surgeon has a group join it because there are just people around the clock that can answer questions for you if your doctor can't immediately and it's great and I was like my chest feels like it is going to slide off my body what is wrong and they were like well what size was your chest beforehand and i said like negative a so literally the fluid

Alexbuild up real real quick i know that there are a lot of cis dudes listening to that so what is a negative a cup it's a joke i well i mean it's not literally negative a but a cups are the smallest or is it double a i i actually i don't know what's the smallest bra size you can have

Mattiei don't know mine was 34a because my so the smallest no 32 double a is the smallest i think okay so one above the smallest before i started t it was 34b thank you very much yeah no i know did you want to briefly talk about what you think it's going to be like because it's gonna be it's gonna be so interesting and so different because you will have a literal weight lifted off of your chest which is not what i got to experience mine was actually

a little more traumatic almost i feel like taking my vest off and like experiencing sensation in my chest right away or lack thereof was scary like scary in a way that my brain was not prepared for it. I think even after doing all of the mental prep and making checklists and packing and doing all that, a lot of my brain still wasn't ready to process like all the bruises and like gnarly stuff and also the sensations. So what do you think it's going to be like for you?

AlexYou know, it's really interesting that you brought up the feeling of your chest sliding down because it didn't help that you were pretty stoned when you were expressing this feeling on all of you know your painkillers so you're you're right in saying that it didn't hurt it just felt as if your chest was you kept saying and it's like it's like my chest is falling off and i'm like what the fuck what do i do and i didn't even think oh oh right you have a

well in a slash double a whereas right now i've got a double d situation going on so i wonder if i'm going to have that sensation of heavy i you know we probably will have a sensation of heaviness a bit but i will probably be able to recognize it as like oh this is swollen and filled with fluid i know oh god that sounds so gross but it's true you know i think it's gonna feel a lot

Mattiedifferent for you and i'm almost i'm almost a little bit jealous and i had that trans jealousy before because i didn't and don't know what it was like for the literal weight to be lifted off my chest metaphorically much better obviously yeah i i don't know maybe that's a weird trans jealousy thing i just my chest was so small that i was just like can we just do this like let's get it done i just want a little tube to like suck out the tissue and be done just get a little vacuum Which is not the kind of top surgery I got because that would be Perry where they just suck out the tissue.

And I got double incision because I wanted to make sure that I had super pleasing aesthetic results. And I do. I love them.

AlexCan you actually talk real quick about why you chose the type of surgery you got, which is DI or double incision versus keyhole or peri? We've covered what those are, but can you kind of do it just a brief overview and why you chose DI instead? because I think it's interesting and it's something that I didn't understand, like I didn't know about it before. And I think that's something that a lot of people who have smaller chests kind of go into with confusion or miss out like amount of apprehension about different things, you know,

because I was I was really surprised that you decided to go with the surgery you wanted to. In retrospect, it makes sense.

MattieSo double incision top surgery is a double mastectomy, which basically means that they slice your chest open under both boobs and physically take out all these sacks of yellow fat and stitch you back up with incisions that usually run from the middle of the chest to under the armpit. They put your own nipples back on via nipple grabs. So usually there isn't sensation left when you get DI.

It's uncommon to get full sensation back, which I did. And then peri or keyhole is where they make a very small incision either around the nipple or on the side of the breast. And they literally just liposuction it out. And your original everything stays intact other than the breast tissue being removed. So you regain sensation. Why I didn't choose that top surgery is because there can be loose skin.

And also you don't get to choose where your nipples are. So if they're already not symmetrical or in a lower position on your body like mine were as opposed to like a more naturally masculine position, that's your results. Like you don't have as much control over the aesthetics. I see. And that is something that I thought like over a year about before I decided. And I'm so happy that I chose double incision and I am also lucky and that I regained almost full sensation in my chest. I would say I have like 85% sensation back in my chest after a year post-op.

AlexWhich I think we should note is fairly rare. And it seems like the reason you got that is because the nerves were so short because your chest was smaller. But I want less sensation in my chest. I guess we haven't talked about my... Well, I have nipple pain a lot.

Mattielike a lot it just kind of hurts and that is the place where i don't have sensation or i have like ghost sensation whereas if i touch my nipple graft because it's a graft it's not actually connected right i can feel where my original nipple was because my nerves have reconnected but yeah usually people that get di like it's like 50 50 on if you'll regain sensation or not so if that's something you want to keep because of sexual activities or other activities or having a relationship with your chest.

I mean, obviously, we're not doctors. Talk to your doctor. But it is very unlikely that you will regain sensation when getting DI. I am an outlier.

AlexThat's part of why I started thinking about full top surgery versus just a breast reduction.

MattieBecause you don't want to feel your nipples?

AlexWell, and I mean, we can get we will get into this in a different episode. But I we did record sort of off the cuff the other day about how I had a realization about why my entire life I haven't liked hugs from the front spoilers, probably because of my boobs. Or running. Do you want to talk about running? Oh, gosh. Yeah. I thought I hated to run. And don't get me wrong. Like, I hate running in terms of like, exercise. But when I have a really well fitted sports bra, it's night and day. But I still feel it. You know what I mean?

And it's not like as if the misery of knowing my chest is there goes away. It's just, you know, one, less painful. Two, less of a nuisance. But that's, you're right. That's another reason I was like, wow, I just want to get rid of these completely.

MattieHonestly, I didn't understand Big Boobs until Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, which is a musical show created by Rachel Bloom that has a song called Heavy Boobs about her double D boobs and until I watched that song of these boobs shaking around and like and she like openly talks about how complicated it is not just on the show but like in interviews and stuff like in that clip from a live show where she had to wear a bra over a bra to do tap dancing.

I've been there that is literally something I never would have even thought about like how hard

Alexbig boobs make things so thank you Rachel Bloom for that perspective I have worn three sports bras at once for working out because that can't be safe um probably not but that's part of it is okay is it safer to hurt your back while you're running or rowing or is it safer to have a bunch of stuff you know strapped to your chest basically

yeah like i have the looser binder that i've enjoyed working out in and you still get like real nasty and sweaty but it is it does keep them in place always size up if you're going to wear a

Mattiebinder when working out and never do it when you're going to lift weights yes and based on my

Alexown personal experience i would suggest if you want to work out in a binder not just as matt said get a bigger size but once you get it just like do the dishes or other various chores that require some like a lot of slow movement but in different positions does that kind of make sense yeah we can

Mattielink um gc2b that's the main binder company has a recommendation like actual recommendations from doctors based on their website so we can link to that website because we are not doctors

Alexyes this is this is all our experiences if anybody has listened to all of these episodes and think that we have any sort of good medical advice um maybe you shouldn't listen to this

Mattiepodcast i mean let's we have good mental health advice that is true well actually speaking of

Alexadvice I have a couple questions prepared for you can I ask them now yes go for it hit me all right so it's been one year pretty much if you could do anything differently what would it be

Mattiehonestly nothing I was like uber prepared yeah uh I watched all the videos I read all the lists i whenever anyone posts a video or tiktok where they're like what do i need that people don't talk about one of those loofahs on a stick and a step stool two of the best things that no one no one told me about and i didn't know i needed until i got them like a week in uh step stool

loofah on a stick because even just like bending down to wash your feet like like i'm not just talking about like lifting your arms to wash your back because you can't but like even just bending down to like wash your feet not fun you don't want to smell get a loofah on a stick i think the only

Alexthing i would have changed is getting a bunch of waterless shampoo for your hair in advance because i ended up i mean this this part's on me but i ended up at walgreens like every night at midnight because it was the start of the pandemic. We didn't really know how COVID-19 was spread. So I would go there like every night right before they closed and to get some. But otherwise, I really don't know what we would have done differently because we had really good timing,

even in terms of the pandemic like the day that we planned to go home just happened to be the day that chicago kind of locked down yeah what should we do differently for me when i have top surgery

Mattiein your opinion no idea we did everything we were so prepared we did everything really great my recommendations find the videos find the lists gather everything yeah make your own list be prepared to be in more pain than you think you're going to be in um bring things to keep you busy in bed uh because you're just gonna be in bed for like a week oh no i'll have to play video games and read books what a hard time how different than what you do on your time off

right there's a top surgeon website and you can find top surgeons in your area right now a lot of them are booked out really far because the pandemic put so many top surgeries on hold that all the ones they had scheduled so now like every top surgeon is booked out a year or more yeah but we can link to all the resources because i wouldn't have been as prepared if i hadn't had watched videos of people who had had top surgery previously honestly there really are

Alexa lot of great resources whenever we talk about a lack of resources it's more of referencing the fact that there aren't a lot of materials about people who have transitioned quote later in life aka us oh we're 30 i was gonna say a lot of it is that trans people have

Mattieto educate each other and the surgeons especially if they're just plastic surgeons and not known for top surgery specifically you might have to educate your doctor or your like your primary care physician yeah because trans people as a whole we educate one another in the community but there aren't resources out there specifically that like doctors or surgeon knows. I would steer away from mainly just plastic surgeons that aren't specializing in top surgery,

but that's just my personal opinion and the community, most of the community's opinion.

AlexWell, you've already started to answer my last question, which was what advice do you have for people who are starting their research into top surgery? but you've already got a few great points.

MattieAlso be patient. It takes a while. I know it sucks. I put a countdown app on my phone, which really helped because it actually, I would look at it like once a week and it made me really happy.

But like be patient with yourself with recovering too. Everyone, there's a lot of posts in my group where people will be like, my chest isn't flat. My chest looks like this. My chest isn't flat yet. fluid can take up to a year for some people the swelling and bruising and fluid but oh i'm sorry

Alexare you are you talking about post-op when there's some swelling and fluid like in your

Mattiechest after you have surgery yeah okay uh sorry i guess specifically for top surgery research look at people's results that are a year or more out because if you look at results from people just a couple months afterwards, you're going to get weirdly skewed mental pictures and results because it takes at least a year, six months to a year for everything to like heal and settle. And you're not specifically you or others aren't going to have the quote unquote results they want

like a week afterwards that's not how it works your body needs time like my chest looks a lot different now than it did like even four months post-op all my my sutures were out everything was healed up but everything hadn't like completely settled in a certain place yet you know and this

Alexisn't just for top surgery or any you know any gender affirmation surgery it's for any surgery at all usually because I had surgery on my hand a couple years ago and even now the nerves are still reconnecting and you know of course it's your hand so it's different there's even more nerve connections even if they might not be as sensitive so it takes a really long time for the body to heal and that isn't a bad thing especially because as you're healing there are so many other

folks who are also healing that you can commiserate with, or people like Mattie, who have been through this process before, who can offer you advice slash reassurance, because they've already been through this process. And they've had the worries of, you know, if you have a small chest, oh my god, everything's falling off. Or, I mean, who knows when you're listening to this, it is April of 2021 now and i don't know what it's like to have gigantic sacks of yellow fat removed from

my chest but hopefully i will uh next year by may 8th so we'll see have you already scheduled your

Mattietop surgery potentially yeah what this is okay i'm finding out about this on a podcast now you have to share you scheduled your top surgery with a first without telling me second of all got your consult without telling me okay and i'm blamed for tell dropping big information while someone's busy dropping big information to the public while we are recording what the hell

Alexalexandra cox i mean it's very on brand for me to be fair but also i realized that i had those

Mattiepictures in advance because uh oh you mean you already sent uh the top surgeon your titty pics

Alexyeah i sent a cis man pictures of my tits which is not something i ever expected to do in my life

Mattiebut here we are well hey i thought you had just had your consult so congratulations on possibly scheduling your top surgery it will be a present for my birthday next year oh that's so sweet

AlexAnd yeah, we haven't had the full consultation, but the brief, yes, DI is right for you. Let's do that. If there's no rush, you know, let's put it from a year from now and we'll settle on a date later. So it could be sooner than that or later than that.

MattieCongratulations. This is such great news to share with me right now. I was a little pissed, but now I'm not.

AlexOh, pissed because I didn't share?

Mattieyeah because you haven't told me anything about it to be fair i got my consult and didn't tell you until like a month later but we hadn't discussed what type of top surgery i was settling on so i was worried for about telling you but i also didn't tell you of our podcast so i guess now now we're even now now we are even

Alexi am excited less nervous than i thought i would be but i keep forgetting that i've had multiple surgeries when you haven't you know like it was my first surgery other than getting my

Mattiewisdom teeth out getting my wisdom teeth out was horrendous because i was awake for it and only had laughing gas yeah it was horrific do not recommend yeah for every surgery i've had

Alexthere's been anesthesia even when i got my wisdom teeth removed or when i got that birthmark removed on my back or the tumor on my hand like i'm like yeah knock me out everybody just let's go i was a

Mattieminor it was my parents decision they didn't know how it was going to mix with my bipolar medication at the time so they didn't put me under fair fair anyone worried about it a lot of people top surgery is their first surgery you literally count backwards from 10 fall asleep wake up and are so stoned that you don't even remember what happened it is literally a nap and if you

Alexhave your partner with you who is your caretaker afterwards it's adorable immediately after surgery it's just oh you've got like a precious kitten to take care of it's so sweet yeah it's pretty funny

Mattieyou're so sweet they wheel you out in a wheelchair it's so cute yeah it's great have get some pillows because you're just gonna want to cuddle soft things that's oh that's another thing when prepping afterwards someone recommended for me to bring uh stuffed animals to specifically put under the seat belt when riding home in the car great advice yeah i've gotta say we brought along

Alexa lot of pokemon stuffies and at first i felt silly and then i realized no no no we are playing like four dimensional top surgery post-stop care you know like you had a you had a goomy in front of you making sure everything was fine there I had my detective Pikachu to squeeze very tightly while you were actually having the surgery like anything that you can hold on to that is soft

go for it you're cute you're cute what about post-op depression because I know you were really worried about that because that's something that a lot of folks who have any gender affirmation surgery both male and female and everything in between a lot of folks encounter

Mattiethat well any surgeries you can get post-op depression it's a side effect from the anesthesia but i really yeah but i was specifically worried about it obviously because i'm bipolar but i don't have to stop taking my meds. In the past, surgeons used to make you stop taking testosterone. This is a lot of surgeons are now stopping this because it's not something that you have to do. And it would cause a huge hormone crash, which is why a lot of people would have post-op depression. And that's something that over the past, even just like past year, is being slowly phased out

by all surgeons. I actually didn't really have post-op depression. I had post-op irritation and

Alexaggravation and i don't know if that was me or the actual no so it it i talked about it in

Mattiegender therapy and it was really because i felt so helpless and my therapist's suggestion was to it was while i was still getting my dressings changed afterwards so i was only like a week out and I was still wearing my post-op binder and my therapist was like recommending that I help prep the bandages and help put on the ointment and stuff like that because it was irritation at feeling helpless and I'm just not a person who's used to someone doing everything for me

Alexlike everybody from the midwest we don't like inconveniencing folks but yeah post-op depression

Mattieis definitely something that happens and I feel like a lot more with top surgery than any gender affirmation surgery like you said because of the hormone crash from getting your boobs removed because they produce hormones even if you're on testosterone so there is a big hormone shift and that I feel like also contributed to my irritation and was something I didn't even think about because I was like my boobs are so tiny it's not gonna matter guess what still mattered

AlexSo the very last thing that we wanted to go over today was your post-op care or more specifically the treatment of your scars after your top surgery.

MattieEveryone treats them differently. A lot of people recommend silicone strips. They irritated my scars more and made them more red. preface everything with the fact that I don't care if my scars are dark or not. Some people really want them to fade. And sometimes they can fade enough that you can be stealth if that's something someone needs for safety. Even if you get DI, there are now ways to make them fade

enough that you don't even notice them. And then some people wear them as a badge of honor. It's a different it's all over the spectrum really and my scars i'm really happy with like they healed really well um so you have to keep them moist gross moist after surgery so usually use aquaphor like on um tattoo care it's just like an extra healing ointment i was gonna compare those two yeah yeah and then um like i said silicone strips but that didn't really work for me

So now I'm using Moderma, which you just can use on regular scars. But you have to wait until everything is healed up. Like don't start scar care too soon. Patience. Patience is good. Also bio oil, which is used to reduce the noticeability of C-section scars. A lot of the stuff they recommend actually helps reduce C-section scars. And I guess they're similar because they're also very thick. so don't quote me on that but that's what people have said what i'm interested in is something you

Alexjust said which is be patient and don't start scar care too early because i'm somebody who scars very very easily and i don't necessarily mind but what do you mean by scar care and like what what should i do basically like what what should i do in terms of when i start medicating my scars versus

Mattiethe actual wounds does that make sense i don't know because everyone's body is different you just have to make sure that your drain holes are closed up and that all of your sutures have come out so like aquaphor you can use right afterwards like right when you're done using like the neosporin ointment they give you, which is more medical. You can, yeah, you can start using Aquaphor right away. I still use it every so often when my skin gets really dry. But for you,

probably Mederma, because that's what's been working on my scars the best, specifically where my drains where I have cheloid scars, which are thicker and more raised. And yeah, I don't know why I didn't think of using that beforehand. It's been a godsend. And I don't even care really about like my scars it's not so much to help with appearance uh like visually as it is to help with like massaging the scar tissue and like getting them flatter if that makes sense do the keloids itch more they did they did itch uh when regaining sensation in your chest if you

do things get itchy why i don't know that's just what everyone says and from my experience it is true they still get itchy when i'm like sweaty or hot and that's apparently something that can happen forever so that's fun that was that was one thing i wasn't expecting either because i wasn't expecting to get back sensation i didn't have my hopes up for that um so i wasn't expecting the itchiness but oh boy it did come it took it a while like eight months but here it be

AlexIf it makes you feel any better, my hand is still constantly itchy from the surgery. Right. Like when you see me like playing with this, it's sorry. Right now I'm sort of running my fingers along one another. And I also have a scar from when a I think I mentioned this when I had a birthmark removed from my back because, you know, melanoma.

And that often itches too, even though when you touch it, I have no feeling. Like this is messed up, but I could probably be stabbed there.

MattieThat's so, it's so weird because usually you itch when you're regaining sensation. So I wonder if it's like the nerves around that scar.

AlexI think so.

MattieYeah, no, my scars themselves, when I get hot or sweaty, physically itch. And that's a sensation that I'm still experiencing. So.

best part of being post-op being able to be shirtless like last summer i wasn't yes i wasn't really shirtless a lot um because i didn't want my scars to have direct sunlight and i i was like so fresh but i'm gonna put on some strong sunscreen and or maybe some silicone scar tape

Alexover my scars this summer and just be nakey all the time i'm so so happy because i see how confident you are when you're walking around the apartment without a shirt and i know initially you worried that i would have some sort of jealousy but i don't i don't at all honestly i don't know if ever want to be shirtless honestly like I might still wear you know a what is it called like a

Mattienegative a sort of uh like sports bikini type thing I really don't know yeah yeah so I I mean

AlexI don't know but that's again something that I'm probably in the minority in because I don't care about that. It's very much about how I physically feel and the sensation around it. So hopefully, dear listener, you'll stick around for a year or so so I can share how I feel. And I think that there are a lot of folks like me who are non-binary, but they don't really know

how to articulate their feelings especially because you know surgery is a big deal i never want to diminish the like not severity but the you don't have to have top surgery to be trans

Mattieright thank you we're not saying like pro top surgery you must get top surgery we are just

Alextalking about our feelings and experiences right exactly and we recorded the other day some of the things that made me realize that I wanted slash probably need top surgery. Some of it involves hugs and human touch. But that does not mean that you are not trans. But it also doesn't mean that you might not, you know, need it for your mental health. And actually,

for my physical health, top surgery is going to help me. But for your back. Yeah. Yeah. Is there anything else you want to cover after your one year anniversary?

MattieI know. I think if anyone has questions, they should DM me on Twitter or Instagram at Mattie R. Cox.

Alexor at twoheadedgirlfm on twitter and instagram and this wild thing called email if you want to go to twoheadedgirlfm at gmail.com and thank you so so much for listening especially thank you if you are a patron supporter i i understand if you can't you know our economy is like just in the big pooper right now, but you are helping me pay for my top surgery in the future,

and I truly can't express how much it means to me. Any final thoughts, Mattie?

MattieStay safe, vote against the terrible trans bills, and go get vaccinated.

AlexFuck yeah. And you can find us on patreon.com slash twoheadedgirl and twoheadedgirl.com. And again, I cannot thank you enough for listening because this is one of the most, not one of, this is literally the most vulnerable I've ever been online, especially as an adult. so thank you so much for your support even if it just means listening it's totally cool be safe

Mattieand thanks for listening to us talk about our boobs you are all simply the best take care oh i was gonna say is it weird that listening to podcasts with merlin's voice makes me feel better about my voice because he doesn't have a very deep

Alexvoice oh interesting because he's a cis dude and the fact that he doesn't have like a really deep

Mattiebaritone type thing it's validating or reassuring is that a better word uh yeah whenever i hear uh cis men with uh higher voices it makes me feel better i mean that makes total sense and you but

Alexyou also mean his normal voice not like look at me i'm a man he like does he talk like that when does that happen i guess that was before your time listening to do by friday you know that's

Mattieweird. I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me. I didn't know that he moonlighted as Mr. Meeseeks. No, that was just me. Wasn't that a good Mr. Meeseeks? I'm Mr. Meeseeks. Look at me. You can move out now.

17. My Chest is Going to Slide Off 0:00 / 00:43:08